What you both need to decide here is whether you will even include different arrangements on special days or whether special days will be spent ‘as they fall’, in other words your children will spend time with each parent in accordance with the parenting arrangement that you have agreed.
Some children actually don't like having to divide their day between their parents. Some parents take the view that if the child’s birthday falls on a day the child is with the other parent, they will get to spend time with the child when they next see him or her. That way the child has 2 birthday celebrations and does not have to divide their day.
The same reasoning applies in relation to Christmas Day. Depending on logistics, it might be a better experience for a child to spend the entire day with one parent and then perhaps Boxing Day with the other parent. If parents live reasonably close to each other and children want to see each parent on Christmas Day, another variation is to divide Christmas Day in half.
A further variation is the children spend a block of time with one parent in one year and then the with the other parent the following year. The block could be from Christmas Eve until the 26 or 27th of December.
Another variation is that if school holidays are being shared, children do not see the other parent at all. If Christmas school holidays are equally shared between parents the parent who has the children for the first half of the Christmas school holidays will always have Christmas Day. Have a look at the blog on school holidays and see that a common order is for one parent to have the first half of the Christmas school holidays in even numbered years and the other parent has the first half in odd numbered years.
The important thing to remember about special days is that the days are about the children not the parent.
With this in mind some parents do not seek orders to spend time with children on their own birthdays.
The following are examples of common orders that are made in relation to special days. The times are just by way of example. If there are events of cultural and/ or religious significance, the same wording can be used.
Mother’s Day/Father’s Day – (a whole weekend, from the night before, or just the day)
The child shall spend time with the Mother on the Mother’s Day weekend from 5.00pm on the evening before Mother’s Day until school drop off Monday morning, if not already in the mother’s care.
The child shall spend time with the Father on the Father’s Day weekend from 5.00pm on the evening before Father’s Day until school drop off Monday morning, if not already in the father’s care.
OR ( with the same applying for Father’s day)
The child shall spend time with the Mother on the Mother’s Day weekend from 5.00pm on the evening before Mother’s Day until 5pm on Mother’s day, if not already in the mother’s care.
OR ( with the same applying for Mother’s day)
The child shall spend time with the Father on Father’s Day from 9.00am to 5.00pm if not already in the father’s care.
Christmas and Easter weekend
Only if the parents are in the same location for the Christmas and Easter period:-
a. In each even numbered year the child will spend time with the mother:
i) from 4pm Christmas Eve until noon 27 December, and
ii) from 4pm on Good Friday until noon Easter Monday.
b. In each odd numbered year the child will spend with the father:
iii) from 4pm Christmas Eve until noon 27 December; and
iv) from 4pm on Good Friday until noon Easter Monday
NOTE – “Only if the parents are in the same location” - This order works well if parents are sharing the Christmas school holidays. It enables each parent to go away with the children during their time, and only if they're not going away and parents happen to be in the same location would they agree to share the Christmas or Easter period. If these are the orders you are contemplating make sure that you think about which parent gets the time in even/odd numbered years and make sure that works with who gets the first half of the Christmas school holidays. The person who's getting the first half of the Christmas holidays is not the parent who would get the children from Christmas Eve using the example above.
Child’s Birthday
That the child will spend time with the parent who does not otherwise have the child in their care on the child’s birthday as agreed to between the parents and in default of an agreement as follows:
a) On non-school days from 12pm until 5pm; and
b) on school days from afterschool until 5pm.
Parent’s Birthday
The child shall spend time with the Mother on the Mother’s birthday from 5.00pm on the evening before her birthday until 9am the day after her birthday, if not already in the mother’s care/ or a block of time on the birthday, not overnights.
The child shall spend time with the Father on the Father’s birthday from 5.00pm on the evening before his birthday until 9am the day after his birthday, if not already in the father’s care.
